Anybody who knows me and still finds this surprising has been somnambulating through an entire acquaintance. I'm a feminist - disdaining the type of men associated with the aforementioned magazine basically comes with the territory. But it's not entirely what you think...
The reasons the publication is insulting have little to do with the endless scantily-clad, gorgeous women gracing each cover. Naturally, I try to walk the fine line between accepting female sexuality as something positive and attractive, and loathing the patriarchy's frat-boyish tendency to oppress women as mere sex objects. It's not that admiring a sexy woman is wrong, but to trivialize a woman's worth to something as minimal as her outward appearance is maddening.
They don't do this by photographing women in lingerie and bikinis. It's the condescending, misogynist articles that do it. Articles like, "How to tell your girlfriend she's fat," among others. (Incidentally, Toolish website AskMen.com has a similar article - with a comment section that makes my stomach turn. - A rant for another day, but if you'll click the link, you'll see basically exactly what was in the Maxim article.)
It's hard to flip through Maxim without ultimately arriving at the conclusion that it's run by - and panders to - immature, sexist men of questionable intellect who hate all women with whom they can't have sex or masturbate to an image of. I can't imagine any of these men actually deigning to speak with a woman unless the intention is to get into her pants.
Don't believe me?
Then what the fuck is this? (Madonna's biggest crime to these losers is having the audacity to age - and to adopt an impoverished child. And how dare Sandra Oh be on TV with a boyish figure? Side note - Don't expect me to believe you watch Grey's Anatomy simply so your girlfriends will put out, Maxim boys.)
Or this? (I love how they praise Jenna Elfman as being as "loyal as a Golden Retriever" for being in a lasting marriage. I guess you can make comparisons between women and dogs that aren't negatively looks-based! And of course they hate Janeane Garofalo - she's a feminist.)
This one is a mixed bag. ("Sorry Helen Hunt, you seem nice and smart, but we'd never have dinner with you because you have a large forehead. Perfect physical specimens of women are the only ones worth fucki - er, talking to. Wait a second - we hate talking to women, anyway. The only things they ever discuss are shopping and Grey's Anatomy. This bugs us because we secretly love Grey's - that's why we never shut up about it - and fear being talked to about it, lest we slip up and reveal the embarrassing truth. Which is only really embarrassing because we're a bunch of macho idiots who get off on ridiculous beer-commercial stereotypes about what makes us men.")
And then there's this. Okay, I'm just going to go ahead and quote it:
Sigh. Aside from the utter sexism, "yucky?" So, in keeping with the juvenile mindset, they're using the language of 5-year-olds. How apt.
Fucking Maxim magazine. Evolve already, pricks! Or, at the very least, stick to ogling the women that allow you assholes to photograph and interview them for your unenlightened rag. But keep your misogynist bullshit to yourself. You're about as amusing as a Pap test.
This one is a mixed bag. ("Sorry Helen Hunt, you seem nice and smart, but we'd never have dinner with you because you have a large forehead. Perfect physical specimens of women are the only ones worth fucki - er, talking to. Wait a second - we hate talking to women, anyway. The only things they ever discuss are shopping and Grey's Anatomy. This bugs us because we secretly love Grey's - that's why we never shut up about it - and fear being talked to about it, lest we slip up and reveal the embarrassing truth. Which is only really embarrassing because we're a bunch of macho idiots who get off on ridiculous beer-commercial stereotypes about what makes us men.")
And then there's this. Okay, I'm just going to go ahead and quote it:
"NEW YORK — The top finisher in our inaugural list of unsexiest women has taken news of her selection in gallop—er, stride.
In an interview with ContactMusic.com (now that's how you get the word out!), Sarah Jessica Parker responded to her ranking among our list of The Five Unsexiest Women Alive by saying, "I believe in the old 'sticks and stones' philosophy, so frankly their words don't come close to hurting.
"I don't think I am (sexy) either."
Not only astute, Parker's reaction smashes the stereotype of the defensive, self-absorbed A-list egotist, while upholding the stereotype of the girl forced to have a sense of humor because she's yucky. We commend Sarah Jessica for her resilience—it's a quality that would be downright sexy on a hot woman!"
Sigh. Aside from the utter sexism, "yucky?" So, in keeping with the juvenile mindset, they're using the language of 5-year-olds. How apt.
Fucking Maxim magazine. Evolve already, pricks! Or, at the very least, stick to ogling the women that allow you assholes to photograph and interview them for your unenlightened rag. But keep your misogynist bullshit to yourself. You're about as amusing as a Pap test.
